Firefighters and Managers

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were out of integrity with a commitment you made to yourself or to others? The coaches at Novus Global have noticed that often one of the following four “survival needs” is the culprit—the desire to feel good, look good, be right, or be in control. These impulses help keep us alive but they can also get in our way. 

Another way to understand this dynamic is through what Internal Family Systems Therapy calls “firefighters and managers.” The idea is that we all have a multiplicity of parts, or sub-personalities, that are often in tension with one another. Firefighter parts pursue pleasures to numb pain, whether it be something small like being bored or something more significant like the memory of a traumatic experience. They put out fires by making us feel good. Manager parts like to manage. They like to arrange things so that we look good in front of others. They love to be right about things and typically dislike the unknown. They feel secure when they are in control. 

What’s interesting about managers and firefighters is that they are both what IFS calls “protector parts.” Their intentions are usually good, although sometimes they work for a perceived good, rather than one that is good for our whole person. When we act in ways that are out of integrity with ourselves, often it is because we are operating with one of our protectors in the driver’s seat. 

This week, I invite you to take a few minutes to un-blend from your protectors (read how in this previous letter) in order to understand them. From a place of curiosity, ask yourself: 

What, if any, firefighters are acting in my life? What are they like? What are their favorite ways to fight fires? What might be their underlying intentions? 

What, if any, managers are acting in my life? What are they like? What are their favorite ways to manage? What might their underlying intentions be? 

What would it look like for me to lead all of my parts into greater integrity with who I really am? 

God bless,
Dan

P.S. If you’d like to learn more about IFS in general and about how to integrate your parts, check out the book Internal Family Systems Therapy.  If you’d like to learn more about IFS from a Catholic perspective, check out the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast. The latest episode is an interview with Fr. Boniface Hicks.