Sit Back, Relax, and Take a Moment to Unblend
According to the school of therapy called Internal Family Systems, the core self that is beneath all of our sub-personalities or parts has several qualities: curiosity, compassion, clarity, connectedness, creativity, courage, confidence, and calm. These are known as the eight Cs.
When we don’t experience these qualities it is because we are blended with one of our parts. For example, we might feel anxious if we are blended with an anxious part or angry if we are blended with an angry part. Unblending starts with noticing our parts. This is followed by asking them with love and understanding if it would be OK for them to step back so that our core selves can emerge.
Another similar process can be found in Dan Siegel’s excellent book Mindsight. He uses the image of a wagon wheel to describe our mental landscape. In the center is the hub—clear, aware, open, peaceful, calm, and receptive. At the peripheries of the wheel are our experiences: the sensations of our body, our mental activities etc. In order to become more grounded, Dan Siegel invites us to scan our awareness and to move each experience we notice outward on the wheel while imagining it being connected to our center with a spoke. For example, while doing this exercise I might have an image of a bird pop up in my mind or I might feel an anxious feeling in my throat. I would simply notice these things, attach a spoke to them and then use my mind to move them out away from my center.
Whatever the technique, it is my experience that when I take the time to notice what is happening within and to get anchored in the depths of my being, it contributes greatly to my flourishing.
This week, I invite you to ask the following:
During the past week, when might I have been in a blended state? What part or parts of me were in the driver’s seat?
During this past week, when did I feel grounded in my core self, showing most or all of the eight Cs?
What am I noticing within myself right now? What parts? What experiences?
How might my life be different if I were able to live from my core self more regularly? What will I do to make this happen?
God bless,
Dan
